June 2012
When you're actually sick but people think you're...
cisbender:
when an artist wants to show you their art
or a writer wants you to read what they’ve written
it’s quite often an expression of trust
because a poem or a story or a painting are often things that come from the heart
little pieces of the artists themselves
and if they’re willing to share it with you
you should appreciate it
one third of me: i want a boyfriend so much, relationships are so cute aw
one third of me: sex sex sex i want sex fuck relationships lets be slutty lol
one third of me: fuck everyone i hate people kill yourselves
pricksatmywindow:
at my funeral when they’re lowering me into the ground i demand they play drop it like its hot
Scream...is coming to TV.
writernerdlover:
On MTV.
Not sure whether to be happy or to go into mourning mode.
Watch
Instant reblog.
stop what you’re doing and watch
Not reblogging this is a federal offense.
<3
I can understand if you don’t reblog this. It just means you are not a man.
this will make a man out of me
I’m never gonna catch my breath when I see this on my dash.
I love this movie so freaking much.
always reblog, no questions asked.
Fuck they...
I’m so glad you just said “no homo” after complimenting me
I was real worried for a sec that I’d have to bend you over a counter and fuck you.
Watch
Chris “auditioning” for The Hunger Games
(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
spiffyrock21:
OH MY GOD OKAY SO I WAS AT MY FRIEND NICK’S HOUSE AND HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO HIS PARENTS AND HE SAID “mom dad i’m straight…” AND THEY LOOKED SO CONFUSED BUT THEN HE SAID “STRAIGHT UP BISEXUAAAAAALLLLL” AND LEAPED OUT OF THE ROOM I’M NOT JOKING THIS IS HIS IDEA OF COMING OUT I’M GOING TO PISS.
Watchanditslove:
mrodigga:
buttcamp:
have you ever just listened to a recording of you talking and then felt terrible for anyone who’s ever had to talk to you ever
Oh imaginary-God, yes. You people are such saints for putting up with me.
avatarstateyipyip:
pizzaforpresident:
So in one week we’ve got three cannibal cases in Florida, a man spitting blood all over a highway patrol officer, another man disemboweling himself and then throwing his intestines at two police officers, and a woman beheading her infant and eating it’s brain…….
May 2012
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The...”
– Robin Williams (via lifeofabeautifuldisaster)
Watchs-fr33man:
loserwithalife:
sn0ok:
hitlerwasmyfather:
THIS IS MY FAVORITE!!!
i swear the more i watch this funnier it gets… oh my god i’m dying
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I THINK I JUST DIED.
DYING
This has got to be a motherfucking joke. →
With your sibling... →
lolzpicx:
Expectation:
Reality:
I play left out. →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Have you ever noticed how horrifying those smiley french fries are in groups?
they’re like
you’re burning us alive
our insides are melting
hELP US
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
When you see visitors in your house but you had no... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard